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IF....
VELVET GOLDMINE
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
THE GOONIES
TEN INCH HERO
LOST AND DELIRIOUS
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
RUSSELL HOWARD LIVE
THE PRINCESS BRIDE
ANOTHER COUNTRY
THE BIG LEBOWSKI
HEATHERS
STAR TREK
SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET S
you make me wish i was beautiful, wish i was talented, wish you could love someone like me.
so hettie and sara were having a joint 18th at school EVERYONE EVER was invited, i stayed late after school for whatever reason and on my way out saw a person dressed as a life size elephant and the jonas brothers (well, nick, frankie and apparently another one no one's ever met) saying happy birthday to them then these girls slightly accosted them.
so they started backing away and started dancing/singing their way away, i was stood where they singing/dancing so they kept bumping into me, this boy who in my dream was also on the disney channel (because nick said so) who was blonde/ginger called luke started joining. JONAS ESCAPE. luke does not, i'm like "hey, i'm jessi can i help?" luke apparently falls madly in love as i rescue him and starts following me home we go into random places on the way.
including the library and finding priya who is having a tea party and whenever i try to tell her i met the jonas brothers she goes into complete denial. priya's made a giant button with buttons on it, but i write on the back "made by rosie" for no apparent reason.
i get home and almost everyone i know is there, getting ready, everyone greets luke and recognise him from disney, sooze shows me the present she got hettie and sara, it's a toilet seat...with the second line of a two line poem on it.
almost everyone leaves, joe appears, still in fur coat, i'm like "JOE? ARE YOU OKAY?" he's like "not really." and hobbles off.
i enter my room luke still with me, max enters the room, i'm like "max. luke. luke. max." max and luke start playing gay chicken which turns real, i ignore them and i start pulling out random dresses from my wardrobe that i had as a child but our now big enough to fit me, they start discussing the future and where they want thier relationship to go.
i take the dresses to poppy's room, which is now the spare room, she and like four people i've met before are sat on the bed, i look at them all and am like "have you all seen me naked before? yes, you have." and start trying on different dresses.
i look out the window when i've chosen one and they've left and see the wonderful mr ed getting on the oxford tube (which apparently now stops outside my house) looking sad. i say "oh no, the wonderful mr ed is getting on the oxford tube looking sad." but no one replies, as i am now all alone.
THE END.
Jessi, I am worried about you! I want to come over and help nurse you back to health!
~it's the best possible time to be alive, when almost everything you thought you knew is wrong.~ says (23:34):
it would be welcomed
dance yourself silly says (23:38):
I would get you endless cups of tea, and read you a good night story and tuck you in and bake you yummy things and draw you pictures that look like a child has done them and tell you how amazing you are on a regular basis, and generally wait for you to tell me what I can do to make you feel better
fuck,
it's yours.
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i'm really scared of that dog man.........i don't think i will go to wellington square again.....but i do love my ...cheesecake? lol xxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson well stop loving your cheesecake and start liking . . . peach tart. or don't eat dessert till you can handle the consequences! (in the nicest way possible).
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello wow harsh, well what if i like to have my cake and eat it too (like what i did there?)) although i never would do that of course. also i think my cheesecake likes to have its cake and eat it too. but i don't want peach tart, i've never been that keen on peaches and also.....the consequences of eating too much dessert is getting fat....which could be an innuendo....ohhhhhhhh metaphors!!! xxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson too much sugar is bad for the heart.
i think you should wait till, your old enough to understand that once you have/think you have dessert your world doesn't revolve around it.
and don't be so fickle towards the peach tart!
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson p.s. this is quite possibly my favouritest conversation ever.
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i'm not being fickle...if you eat too much of the same thing you get sick of it or bored. on the other hand...if cheesecake is the dessert that is meant to be then you will never get sick of it. am i not right? xxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson but i promise you cheesecake is not the desert it's meant to be.
THEN STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD FOOL.
and cheesecake already has a fork.
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello wow that was sticking the knife it....jokes. well the thing is, a cheesecake can be eaten with a spoon also....and the other thing is unless we are god, we will never know what the right dessert is on the table as we cannot see absolutly every possible dessert choice. all we can do is try a few and see what we like best no? and if we find one we like above all others, then why bother eating any other dessert. that is my thinking xxx
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i think i'm officially the metaphor queen. xxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson but the cheesecake and the fork really like each other, i just think you should wait till your older and maybe you'll go to new york and try some REAL new york cheesecake which hasn't already been taken by a fork, maybe i am god...
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello you have a point.....maybe you are god...its not like i would realise or know....this is disconcerting. but to the jist and thrust of it all, i'm stuck on a revolving dessert table and one day will need to decide what dessert is right for me and throw away all the others no matter how tempting and lovely they all are...which is rather difficult as one particular dessert is being so horribly tempting!!!!!!! arrrrghhhhh *teen angst ensues* xxxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson we are a team of metaphorical queens!
ignore the dessert for now and concentrate on something else main course (friends) or your salad (education) or your wine (religion)
just wait till the fork's no longer in the cheesecake and see if you still like the cheesecake and not another dessert.
(the fork/cheesecake metaphor has become slightly sexual but there is nothing i can do to stop it!!!!!!!!)
xxxx
p.s. don't teen angst
but if you will
i shall provide a soundtrack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5NIQQX_7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wrs-eTVq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oshZxqmd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWMBDewW6
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i'm going to bed now but i love this chat you are the best and my most
favourite person (excluding desserts for now) although you would make a
good dessert.... anyway i love you and i will listen to said soundtrack. see you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ps run when you hear the whistling
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson i love you!
i'm going to save this conversation in my journal!
i would make an excellent desert. probably a creme brulee.
I OFFICIALLY HAVE A FEAR OF WHISTLING
xxxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson too much sugar is bad for the heart.
i think you should wait till, your old enough to understand that once you have/think you have dessert your world doesn't revolve around it.
and don't be so fickle towards the peach tart!
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson p.s. this is quite possibly my favouritest conversation ever.
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i'm not being fickle...if you eat too much of the same thing you get sick of it or bored. on the other hand...if cheesecake is the dessert that is meant to be then you will never get sick of it. am i not right? xxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson but i promise you cheesecake is not the desert it's meant to be.
THEN STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD FOOL.
and cheesecake already has a fork.
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello wow that was sticking the knife it....jokes. well the thing is, a cheesecake can be eaten with a spoon also....and the other thing is unless we are god, we will never know what the right dessert is on the table as we cannot see absolutly every possible dessert choice. all we can do is try a few and see what we like best no? and if we find one we like above all others, then why bother eating any other dessert. that is my thinking xxx
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i think i'm officially the metaphor queen. xxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson but the cheesecake and the fork really like each other, i just think you should wait till your older and maybe you'll go to new york and try some REAL new york cheesecake which hasn't already been taken by a fork, maybe i am god...
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello you have a point.....maybe you are god...its not like i would realise or know....this is disconcerting. but to the jist and thrust of it all, i'm stuck on a revolving dessert table and one day will need to decide what dessert is right for me and throw away all the others no matter how tempting and lovely they all are...which is rather difficult as one particular dessert is being so horribly tempting!!!!!!! arrrrghhhhh *teen angst ensues* xxxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson we are a team of metaphorical queens!
ignore the dessert for now and concentrate on something else main course (friends) or your salad (education) or your wine (religion)
just wait till the fork's no longer in the cheesecake and see if you still like the cheesecake and not another dessert.
(the fork/cheesecake metaphor has become slightly sexual but there is nothing i can do to stop it!!!!!!!!)
xxxx
p.s. don't teen angst
but if you will
i shall provide a soundtrack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5NIQQX_7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wrs-eTVq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oshZxqmd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWMBDewW6
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i'm going to bed now but i love this chat you are the best and my most
favourite person (excluding desserts for now) although you would make a
good dessert.... anyway i love you and i will listen to said soundtrack. see you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ps run when you hear the whistling
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson i love you!
i'm going to save this conversation in my journal!
i would make an excellent desert. probably a creme brulee.
I OFFICIALLY HAVE A FEAR OF WHISTLING
xxxx
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i think i'm officially the metaphor queen. xxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson but the cheesecake and the fork really like each other, i just think you should wait till your older and maybe you'll go to new york and try some REAL new york cheesecake which hasn't already been taken by a fork, maybe i am god...
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello you have a point.....maybe you are god...its not like i would realise or know....this is disconcerting. but to the jist and thrust of it all, i'm stuck on a revolving dessert table and one day will need to decide what dessert is right for me and throw away all the others no matter how tempting and lovely they all are...which is rather difficult as one particular dessert is being so horribly tempting!!!!!!! arrrrghhhhh *teen angst ensues* xxxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson we are a team of metaphorical queens!
ignore the dessert for now and concentrate on something else main course (friends) or your salad (education) or your wine (religion)
just wait till the fork's no longer in the cheesecake and see if you still like the cheesecake and not another dessert.
(the fork/cheesecake metaphor has become slightly sexual but there is nothing i can do to stop it!!!!!!!!)
xxxx
p.s. don't teen angst
but if you will
i shall provide a soundtrack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5NIQQX_7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wrs-eTVq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oshZxqmd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWMBDewW6
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i'm going to bed now but i love this chat you are the best and my most
favourite person (excluding desserts for now) although you would make a
good dessert.... anyway i love you and i will listen to said soundtrack. see you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ps run when you hear the whistling
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson i love you!
i'm going to save this conversation in my journal!
i would make an excellent desert. probably a creme brulee.
I OFFICIALLY HAVE A FEAR OF WHISTLING
xxxx
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson we are a team of metaphorical queens!
ignore the dessert for now and concentrate on something else main course (friends) or your salad (education) or your wine (religion)
just wait till the fork's no longer in the cheesecake and see if you still like the cheesecake and not another dessert.
(the fork/cheesecake metaphor has become slightly sexual but there is nothing i can do to stop it!!!!!!!!)
xxxx
p.s. don't teen angst
but if you will
i shall provide a soundtrack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5NIQQX_7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wrs-eTVq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oshZxqmd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWMBDewW6
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i'm going to bed now but i love this chat you are the best and my most
favourite person (excluding desserts for now) although you would make a
good dessert.... anyway i love you and i will listen to said soundtrack. see you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ps run when you hear the whistling
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson i love you!
i'm going to save this conversation in my journal!
i would make an excellent desert. probably a creme brulee.
I OFFICIALLY HAVE A FEAR OF WHISTLING
xxxx
ignore the dessert for now and concentrate on something else main course (friends) or your salad (education) or your wine (religion)
just wait till the fork's no longer in the cheesecake and see if you still like the cheesecake and not another dessert.
(the fork/cheesecake metaphor has become slightly sexual but there is nothing i can do to stop it!!!!!!!!)
xxxx
p.s. don't teen angst
but if you will
i shall provide a soundtrack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5NIQQX_7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wrs-eTVq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oshZxqmd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWMBDewW6
Lady Cap'n Rachel Nigriello i'm going to bed now but i love this chat you are the best and my most
favourite person (excluding desserts for now) although you would make a
good dessert.... anyway i love you and i will listen to said soundtrack. see you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ps run when you hear the whistling
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson i love you!
i'm going to save this conversation in my journal!
i would make an excellent desert. probably a creme brulee.
I OFFICIALLY HAVE A FEAR OF WHISTLING
xxxx
favourite person (excluding desserts for now) although you would make a
good dessert.... anyway i love you and i will listen to said soundtrack. see you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ps run when you hear the whistling
Lady Cap'n Jessi Watson i love you!
i'm going to save this conversation in my journal!
i would make an excellent desert. probably a creme brulee.
I OFFICIALLY HAVE A FEAR OF WHISTLING
xxxx
Chadwick: It makes me feel rather small. We're so little. We take up a tiny amount of space, as indiciduals, don't we? And a negligible amount of time.
Chadwick: Human beings are pathetic. Everything human beings do finishes up bad in the end. Everything good human beings ever make is built on something monstrous. Nothing lasts. We certainly won't. We could have made something really extraordinary and we won't. We've been around one hundred thousand years. We'll have died out before the next two hundred. You know what we've got to look forward to?
You know what will define the next two hundred years? Religions will become brutalized; crime rates will become hysterical; everybody will become addicted to internet sex; suicide will become fashionable; there'll be famine; there'll be floods; there'll be fires in the major cities of the Western world. Our education systems will become battered. Our health services unsustainable; our police forces unmanageable; our governments corrupt. There'll be open brutality in the streets; there'll be nuclear war; massive depletion of resources on every level; insanely increasing third-world population. It's happening already. It's happening now.
Thousands die every summer from floods in the Indian monsoon season. Africans from Senegal wash up on the beaches of the Mediterranean and get looked after by guilty liberal holiday-makers. Somalians wait in hostels in Malta or prison islands north of Australia. Hundreds die of heat or fire every year in Paris. Or California. Or Athens. The oceans will rise. The cities will flood. The power stations will flood. Airports will flood. Species will vanish forever. Including ours. So if you think I'm worried by you calling me names, Bennet, you little, little boy, you are fucking kidding yourself.
Bennet: Blimey. That's a bit bleak, Chadwick.
Lilly: Ninety nine per cent of the young people in this country, William, and nobody ever says this, ninety nine percent of young people in this country do a really good job at the actual work of staying alive. They'll survive. Happily. They'll grow up. ~ That's not a bad thing, William. You know? What makes you think you're any different? What makes you think you're so special?
Bennett: Why is it that every single person in this school jdges everybody else by the level of their intelligence? Not by their wit. Not by their appearance. Not by their dress sense. Not by their taste in music. By how many 'A*'s they got at GCSE.
Bennet: Blimey. That's a bit bleak, Chadwick.
Lilly: Ninety nine per cent of the young people in this country, William, and nobody ever says this, ninety nine percent of young people in this country do a really good job at the actual work of staying alive. They'll survive. Happily. They'll grow up. ~ That's not a bad thing, William. You know? What makes you think you're any different? What makes you think you're so special?
Bennett: Why is it that every single person in this school jdges everybody else by the level of their intelligence? Not by their wit. Not by their appearance. Not by their dress sense. Not by their taste in music. By how many 'A*'s they got at GCSE.
Choi: Like I'm not going anyway.
Jill Taylor: You know what I like most about Las Vegas? You can be whoever you want to be.
Kirk: Are you afraid or aren't you?
Spock: I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion.
Kirk: Then why don't you stop me?
Sarek: [to Spock] You will always be a child of two worlds, and fully capable of deciding your own destiny. The question you face is: which path will you choose?
Spock: Live long, and Prosper.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Dammit, man! I'm a doctor, not a physicist!
Kirk: You know, traveling through time, changing history... that's cheating.
Spock: A trick I learned from an old friend.
Kirk: [on Spock] Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I don't know, but I like him.
Spock: [closing monologue] Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life-forms and new civilizations; to boldly go where no one has gone before.
Spock: [to Kirk] Out of the chair.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: How old are you?
Pavel Chekov: I'm 17.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Oh good, he's 17.
Scotty: So, the Enterprise has had its maiden voyage, has it? She is one well-endowed lady. I'd like to get my hands on her "ample nacelles," if you pardon the engineering parlance...
Spock: Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Lt. Nyota Uhura: [During the Kobayashi Maru test] We are receiving a distress signal from the USS Kobayashi Maru. The ship has lost power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them.
Kirk: [clearly enjoying himself] Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them... *captain*.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [rolls his eyes] Two Klingon warbirds have entered the Neutral Zone and are locking weapons on us.
Kirk: [Smugly] That's okay.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: 'That's okay?'
Kirk: Yeah, don't worry about it.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Three more Klingon warbirds decloaking and locking onto our ship. I don't suppose this is a problem either.
Simulator Tactical Officer: They're firing, captain.
Kirk: Alert Medical bay to receive *all* crew members from the damaged ship.
Lt. Nyota Uhura: And how do you expect us to rescue them when we're surrounded by Klingons, captain?
Kirk: Alert Medical.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Our ship's being hit. Shields are at sixty percent.
Kirk: [nonchalantly] I understand.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [exasperated] Well, should we - oh, I dunno - fire back?
Kirk: [pulls an apple out of nowhere and starts munching] Naw.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Of course not.
[the entire simulation suddenly shuts down, then starts back up]
Kirk: Hmm. Arm photons, prepare to fire on the Klingon warbirds.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Jim, their shields are still up!
Kirk: Are they?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [McCoy checks again, taken aback] No... They're not.
Kirk: Fire on all enemy ships. One photon each should do it. No sense in wasting ammunition.
Simulator Tactical Officer: Aye, sir. Target locked and acquired on all warbirds. Firing.
[the simulation shows the birds being destroyed one by one]
Simulator Tactical Officer: All targets destroyed, sir.
Kirk: Begin rescue of the stranded crew. *So,*
[suddenly very cocky]
Kirk: we've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one on board was injured and the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is... underway.
[takes a large bite out of his apple]
Spock: [after Kirk has assumed official command of Enterprise] Captain? As you have no First Officer I respectfully submit my candidacy. I can provide character references if you wish.
but apparently i'm too generous.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Whatever comes," she said, "cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it."
-Sara, A Little Princess
An artist wears her art in place of wounds.--Patti Smith
"I want to do something splendid before I go into my castle-something heroic or wonderful, that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead. I don’t know what, but I’m on the watch for it, and mean to astonish you all, someday." Jo March from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a treail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If you could stop every atom in its position and direction, and if your mind could comprehend all the actions thus suspended, then if you were really, really good at algebra you could write the formula for all the future; and although nobody can be so cleaver to do it, the formula must exist just as if one could."
"It is a defect of God's humour that he directs our hearts everywhere but to those who have a right to them."
"Heat goes to cold. It's a one-way street. Your tea will end up at room temperature. And what is happening to your tea is happening to everything, everywhere. The sun and the stars. It will take a while, but we're all going to end up at room temperature."
that sometimes i forget to remember.
and laugh.
i'm lost enough to stop making sense.
i'm lost enough to wonder if i ever made sense.
and yet again, i can't figure out why,
or whether it will end.
